This is SO wrong...

Someone stole my Girl Scout cookies. I bought cookies from somebody's kid in the office and they left them in the kitchen with my name and a tag to pay $7.00. Someone took it upon themselves to OPEN the box, and CUT the plastic bag, and EAT half of the cookies. Luckily, they were the yucky sugar free brownie ones. I would have called the police had it been my Samoa's.

But still, WTF? We share all the time around here and anything already open in the kitchen is known to be fair game, but who OPENS someone else's stuff?

Rush Hour

It should be against the law to move a house on a two lane interstate
at 5:15 pm. There is nothing "rush" about blocking both lanes at
30mph. Especially when the speed limit is 70.

don't call me at work then!

Everyday my desk phone rings at 3:36, the exact moment my mother gets home from work. She asks 'what are you doing" - uh - you called me at work - I'm WORKING!! She goes on to mindless chit-chat about what happened during her day. Boss stops by my desk & wants something, pertaining to - you guessed it - Work! Tell mom I can't talk now - she gets PO'ed & her feeling hurt & says she never gets to hold a conversation with me. Sorry - I work full time, I have a 4 year old boy, a husband, I live in a FEMA trailer while I try to do some repairs on our house in the dark (because it is dark when I get hime from work!). Don't forget cooking, cleaning & laundry. Sorry I don't have time to chat on the phone for an hour at a time.

I'm NOT a Witch

It's not a wart; it's a pimple. On. The. Tip. Of. My. Nose.

V. Lovely.

Delays

Delays suck. Missed my flight by 5 minutes. Had to reroute through DC. Flight delayed. Friggin COLD with snow on ground here. Saw John Kerry in the airport. Not very impressive presence in person. Frankly, I don't like him anyway, but I expected more. At least he's flying
commercial. Flight had lots of turbulence and I almost puked twice. I don't get motion sick easily.

Oh yes- the WTF...

WTF do people talk with their hands on their cell phones? The gesturing excessively in a "trying to fly without wings" manner just makes you look foolish. Also, a 14 inch laptop screen does not shield the view from all angles. I saw you pick your nose. Ew.

Ugh

Why are there always the most wrecks when I am late for a plane? I think maybe the gods just don't want me in Charlotte. Ever. There must be evil there.

Also, rubber-neckers should be drawn and quartered. In front of an audience in car shaped seats that revolve around the stage in slow motion.

More travel related woes to come I'm sure.

THIS pisses me off

Why don't new clothes come with all the buttons TIGHTENED so that you don't lose one the second time you've worn the jacket? Ever? WTF dude? Is there a conspiracy with the Button Sewers of America or something? Because, when I pay $75 for a piece of clothing - I would like to be able to wear it without further assembly.

OUCH!

Why is it that once I bite my lip, I will keep biting it over and over again? WTF??? And ouch, that hurts! Also, now I look funny with my lip swollen.

No WTF?

Nobody has any complaints? I guess that's a good thing! LOL

Contributors

I shortened the member list to those that have posted since September 1st. If you wish to be reinstated, or if you are here for the first time and wish to contribute to this blog, let me know.

Thanks,
The Management

UPDATE: also upgraded to the new Blogger. You'll need a google account to post now.

Don't tell me it's ONLY two hours

Unless you are the one who will fly the fucking plane. I remember when people used to care about people instead of what "the computer" will let them do. When I show up for my flight 5 minutes beyond the computer cutoff for bags, with a car seat, 2 bags and a child, pick up
the fucking phone and ASK someone if there is still time to get bags on. I was leaving the airport before the fucking plane did. We so could have made it. Don't stick me on a flight 3 hours later with a 4 year old in tow, because if shit can happen it will. And THAT flight will be delayed 2 more hours (and counting) and I will miss my connection and possibly not even get to spend 24 hours in my destination. With my husband who is gone for a month. Fuck you, D3LTA!!! And you can shove your two hours up your ass!

Insulted?

While leaving Publix tonight, I had a discussion with the bagger who was taking my groceries out to the van. I had noticed the Toys For Tots box near the exit so I asked if I could just bring my new toys in.

Him: No, that's for people who buy toys in the store to donate.
Me: What does it matter, it's all going to the same organization. I have new toys at home I'd like to bring in.
Him: Ummm it's an organization for really poor kids. They don't want people's used, beat up toys.
Me: I have new toys.
Him: Are they still in their box, unopened?
Me: Yes, they are NEW.
Him: (very low voice- I think he said it was okay or something)

At this point, he was done with the groceries and I just walked to my door without a thanks or have a good night. Should I feel insulted? I really feel this guy was just an idiot. Ugh!

Yes, I am MAD AT YOU!!!

When I spend all day on the phone with developers explaining to them how it *has* to be something in their code, only to find out that you neglected to tell me you CHANGED THE FRIGGING FILE NAME AFTER I TOLD YOU NOT TO it not only makes me look bad, it royally pisses me off. It was a two minute fix that dragged on for six hours, involving more people than should have been involved and tying up resources needed elsewhere. Yes, I am MAD! I don't care that you're sorry, you are a loser and I wish I had hired you so I can fire you. Normal people make occasional mistakes, you make on average 3 a day. This wouldn't be so bad if I had not warned you OF THIS VERY THING earlier in the week when you did it the first time. Can you not remember from day to day? Do I need to check your work before it can be submitted to QA??? Must I hold your hand as you go about the day-to-day business of DOING YOUR JOB??? I have to do your evaluation to determine if you get a raise and a bonus. I only hope I calm down enough before then to be rational and not fire your sorry self.

hazard lights are NOT for make-up & cellphone usage

Dear Stupid Bitch that was driving 35/mph with your hazard lights flashing this morning in the fast lane,

I was expecting to see an old lady with a flat tire, or a woman in labor on the way to the hospital, maybe some lumber sticking out the back window of your SUV. But NO, you were sitting in the middle of the two seats, holding your eyelid with one hand, putting eye-liner on with the other, while trying to talk & hold the cell phone with your sholder. Hazard/flasher lights are for emergencies, not make-up. If you cannot get out of bed 3 minutes earlier, you don't deserve a drivers license.
Sincerely,
Annoyed

WTF was I thinking???

Driving across the country with a 1 year old....
Not my smartest move ever.
Two more hours to go tonight. About six tomorrow.

Oh joy!

I wonder what Brown can do for me? Do you think they run toddler specials?

Car seats!

If you don't want to hear what you're doing is wrong, then please don't ask me!! When I gave you the info, I was going by YOUR carseat's manual. I promise I wasn't making the info up. Your ped was misinformed and you misread the manual. You "technically" DID do something wrong. It wasn't a matter of a "safer" alternative. Whatever....

Well, I DON'T Thank You, Then.

The proper response when someone says "Thank You" to you is "You're Welcome." Or a nod of the head. A mumble. Something. It's not a prissy walk-away.

Also, when I ask you "What Floor?" you can answer me. Really, I've known my numbers to 12 since I was 2 years old. You do not have to swipe your own badge and press your own button, practically stepping on my foot to do so.

Is it because you have little man syndrome? Or a very small dick? Maybe both. Oh well, in that case, I'm sorry. Have a nice day.

From the Traffic Files

You know that lane that's there so you can safely get onto the interstate? The one that goes on for about 100 yards? The one that people refer to as the merge lane? (I have even heard it referred to as the Acceleration! lane!)

It is NOT called the Slam On Your Brakes and Come to a Complete Stop and Pray for a Decent Opening So You Can Drive lane. There is alot of road there in that lane.

Fucking USE it!

3 guys steal 1 truck

Dear 3 dumb guys,
If you break into the lock box, find 4 sets of keys for the 4 trucks parked next to the box, why would you steal 1 truck???? 3 guys could steal, at least, 2 trucks. if it takes one dumb guy to drive the get away car, why didn't the other 2 dumb guys each take a truck???? Dump the POS get away car & take 3 new trucks?

Now, dumb ass holes, I have to come to the office at 2am to transfer keys to the guy that really needs the truck. Since, of course, I can't leave the keys in the lock box anymore!

Repeat after me...

Just because you can wear something, doesn't mean you should. Noone should wear bicycle pants in public unless you are on a bicycle. You should most definately NOT wear them if you over 60 shopping in Sam's club wearing some 80s nautical looking shirt with it and you are 50lbs overweight.