Your cell phone makes a better door than a window

So I've been going to a few concerts lately, and I've noticed something new since I last was going to concerts: cell-phone cameras. People are so friggin' rude with those things. they hold them high above their heads to snap a (very crappy) picture. Of course, inevitably they leave the camera there for ages trying to focus and zoom and frame and whatever. And this is right in my line of vision. It just pisses me off! And at last night's concert, they checked our bags for cameras, but they apparently didn't think about cell phones. AND at last night's concert the woman in front of me was kind of short, so she stood on her chair to do this. Annoying!

What the F*ck is wrong with people?

Dear Interstate Assholes

Dear stupid asshole who thinks the left lane of the interstate would be a good place to park,

I was carrying a box of beautiful ceramic treasures that my son made for me to work this morning in my van. Because you slammed on your brakes, I had to slam mine, and the box went flying. You are lucky that I had carefully wrapped each item before I packed them and that none of them are broken.

I hope you get bugs on your windshield.

Office Bathroom Etiquette Lesson #2

Pee belongs IN the toilet, not on the seat.

Are people like this in their own homes? Well, it might have been the force of the flush, splashing some drops onto the seat. Yes, it could have been. Except the drops were YELLOW!

Is it really THAT hard?

I actually yelled in the office this morning. You don't know this, but I am very loud. VERY loud. I have a hearing problem, so my volume knob is a little broken. I don't sound loud to me, but I've been told that I am. And when I yell......

I came in this morning to a lovely present on my chair. Yesterday, I had a very stressful time trying to find a crane company that would deal with us (that is another story, for another rant). Once I finally got them to agree to certain terms, I had to send them a copy of a certified cheque before they would book the job. This morning, I came into my office and found the rejected fax sitting on my chair. It never went through, meaning I didn't get my crane for today. The time stamp is TWO hours before I went home. The transmission error sat on the fax machine for that long. How hard is it to walk it the 50 feet down the hall and bring it to my attention?!? Especially when everyone in the freakin' place knew how hard of a time I was having and knew how important this fax was. And, to top it all off, the original is sitting in plain site on my desk (Its VERY, VERY obvious). When you finally decide (sometime after I've left obviously) to bring down the transmission error and put it on my chair, is it too much to ask that you try and send the original again?!? What the hell is wrong with the people around here? Am I the only one who thinks this way? Argh. Ack. AAAAH. So, I yelled. Granted, no one was here to hear me, but it made me feel better.

This is just an example of what my week has been like. I can only imagine what today is going to bring. I may be hoarse by Friday.

WTF - Keeping "Dates"

Ok - so we make a plan with our neighbors to go to a kids' playcenter, since the kids are the same age. We pick a date, we pick a time. We show up. They never do. There is not even a phone call. So, with about 45 minutes left until the place closes, I bring my kid anyway. We're pretty much the only people there. Now, in a year or so when baby girl is old enough to also romp around, it won't be an issue. But, for now, I really hate that my son is always playing alone. He's social and makes friends with whatever kids are around, but still.....is it too much to ask that if you make a "date" with my child - that you keep it? WTF?

This can't be good.

Lightening has struck our house. Power and phone are out. This can't be good. WTF didn't we buy that generator when we talked about it? Damn.



UPDATE: power, phone, and cable TV are back. Internet is not - we blew up a jack. Phone company will come out tomorrow.

Are you really that f**king lazy???

Okay, so I know I sometimes don't have a pile on my desk of work to do, but I did yesterday. I work 7:30 to 4:30. At 4:00 my coworker comes up to me and asks if I have time to do something for her. I was working on MY work and told her that I had to finish up what I was doing before I left for the day. So, instead of saying okay and walking away, she puts the pile on my desk anyway and says well if you can do it before you leave today that would be great. Then she proceeds to go on a break!!! What the fuck! I don't mind helping, but when I'm busy and I need to leave on time, I'm not going to break my neck to get your shit done. Then the clicker, she's off today. This girl, who I normally love, talks on the phone constantly or she's on the internet. She has 3 other people helping her do her job. UGH!

Then there is another one here...she has talked, talked, and talked about this eye surgery she's having to anyone and everyone that will listen. Me and another coworker are about to go insane hearing about it. I'm just in a mood today and I just want to beat the shit out of someone, anyone! I'm usually not a violent person, but today I'm ready for a fight! Come on 4:30 - get me the hell out of here!

Okay, I feel a bit better now!

What the hell do you think is the matter with me?

To say this summer has been stressful is an understatement, but that is a whole different vent!

I am stressed, he knows I am stressed (yes, I flat out told him, I didn't make him guess). So this morning, while trying to get my work done with a tired, screaming 3 yr old who wanted to play on my computer while I worked I was stressed so more.

We also gave up our cleaning lady because he said it was costing too much so now I have to work and clean this mess. SO, after finishing typing a manuscript (with the screaming 3 yr old hanging on my legs, I decide to tackle cleaning the upstairs bathrooms before I do some more work. The screaming 3yr old wants to help. I gladly let her. She wants her towel wetter than what it is. I say no, she wets it anyway and gets my entire clean bathroom floor soaking wet. I yell, she screams. The whole time, dh is standing at my copy machine in my office using my paper...........asking what the heck is the matter with me?

What the F_ ck do you think is the matter with me? Do you have eyes, ears??????????

He gets to leave now for work and I get all this..................................

AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE SPRINT!!!!!!

I just got a bill for 468.13!
Every month for the last 4 months or so i have had to call the to fix some insane over charges on my bill.
My purse was stolen the middle of July and the ass that stole it decided to be even more of an ass and download 67 ringers for 174.50, 24 music's for 60.00 and was charged 107.00 for internet usage. AAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

I called and reported my phone stolen and am still getting charged for this crap. I am on hold with them now, and this stupid guy I am talking to was like "well i will see if we can get a bit of this refunded to you" YEAH FREAKIN RIGHT! I BIT . . . i told them there was no way i was paying for ANY of this and he might as well put me through to a supervisor now . . .
GOOD GREIF . . ..

Lizzy

An Ode to Speed - in Letter Form

Dear Asswipe who was driving 55 in the left lane on the interstate at 5:45 this afternoon,

The speed limit is 70. Go it, or get the hell out of my way. I have kids to get home to, and a husband who was cooking me dinner. Stop wasting my time.

That is all.

Car Repair

I dropped my car off at the repair place last Monday to get a new roof. During a really bad storm a while back a huge branch fell on the van and did a lot of damage to the roof so I have to get it repaired. So I drop it off last Monday and they tell me they will need it for 8 days do I figure I'll have it back by Tuesday of next week. Of course we don't have the correct car insurance so they will pay (after deductible) for the repair but not a rental; whatever, I can handle not having a for a week, it's a pain but I can handle it. So I call today, Tuesday, to see when I pick up my car and guess what?!?! The guy says "oh I though Susie called you, the first roof we got was damaged so we had to order another one, I'm not sure when your van will be ready but you can call on Friday and I'll be able to nail it down for you."
WHAT?!?!?! FRIDAY??? So I'll be without the car for another week, which is a huge pain in the butt because I work during the day and go to school at night. And DH needs the car during the day because he travels for work. Not to mention picking up the kids at daycare etc.
So I call DH to tell him this and he says this is probably for the better because it is getting us ready to get the kids ready in the morning because school starts in a couple weeks. Yeah, better for him, HE HAS A CAR!
Deep breath in, deep breath out, ok I feel a little bit better now. Sorry for the book.
Traci

Office Bathroom Etiquette Lesson #1

OK, OK, I admit it. My tummy was bothering me after I had to much carbination & fried rice at lunch. So I went to relieve the bubbles in the ladies room at the office. Better than in my cubicule, right?
So I'm in the stall, my tummy is feeling better, but a few more bubbles are rumblin' in there, so I stayed in the stall. 2 other ladies come in. I try to hold the bubbles, but one excapes. LOUD - you know how it is, the more you try to hold it in, the louder the fart gets. So, the other 2 wash their hands, and STAY to chat. Another bubble - PPPSSSSTTT! They are still talking at the sink. Did they hear it, pretending not to? Get the Fuck out of the bathroom so I can take a crap in peace!

Office Bathroom Etiqutte Lesson #1:
If you can tell someone in the next stall is having tummy issues, do your business & get the hell out of the bathroom. Chat in the hall or somewhere else. I don't want you to listen to me take a shit in a public bathroom.

Open Letter

Dear lady at Racetrack gas station,

You are easily over 250 pounds. Please do not wear those white stretch pants again. You might want to learn the phrase "just because they zip, does not mean they fit.". Also, mirrors can be used for good.

I can tell time, can you?

9:05-co-worker says to our boss "I'm going downstairs to watch the 15 min video before our 9:30 meeting". Dumb Ass Boss (DAB) says "are you going to be back before our 9:30 meeting" & then goes on to say it takes X minutes to get downstairs (from 3rd floor to 1st), then you have to get someone to set up the TV & put the video on, & then.... If DAB would shut the F up, he could have been down watched the video & been back by 9:25, but no, by 9:15 DAB was still flapping his gums to co-worker. Co-worker then missed opportunity to view video.

The problem with working with dumb people is that they don't know how stupid they are. Which means they have no ability to censor what comes out of their mouths and there is no little voice saying to them "Hold up, you sound like a frickin' idiot. You may not want to share THAT". Actually, this is not so much a problem as I usually take great enjoyment out of the stupid comments. But I'm a mean-spirited bitch sometimes.

The scene: LaMoron has offered to do a favour for a co-worker. You may remember LaMoron as the star of The Great Filing Disaster. From now on we will refer to her as MissionControl because, to be frank, that's what everyone calls her here and I'm too lazy to keep up with the LaMoron bit. So MissionControl offers to drive her co-worker to pick up her car at the mechanic. Trouble is, she needs directions on how to get there. Instead of asking her co-worker (and look like an idiot I guess) she asks her mother who, as it happens, also works here. Why is this, you may ask. Well, she needs special directions so that she doesn't have to make ANY left hand turns. Because she can't. HUH???

At this point, I am alternating between laughing so hard that I think I'll pee myself and wanting to vomit at the idea that she has a drivers license. Why, oh WHY would you let everyone hear this? Because now everyone in the office knows. Why not just mention it to your passenger when you're alone and try and come up with a solution. She needs a 10 second delay for when she talks so that someone can beep out all the stupidity.

I've come to learn that she can make left had turns, she just doesn't feel comfortable. Its clearly because she has no judgement about what is 'safe'. Case in point: I'M drving to work one morning when someone turns left in front of me and I came thisclose to hitting them. Guess who? Its not so funny when you're the one involved, but at the same time..................

I wish you could all meet her. Then we could all point and laugh.

Stupid Drivers

Why is it that there always seem to be stupid drivers on the road when I am there. I drove 7 hours to and from Alabama to pick up my oldest and I swear at least 15 seriously impared drivers were on the rode and 4 were motorcyclists. I think they anger me the most.

'Look, rode kill' is all I can think of when they breeze by me at 100mph or worse playing cat and mouse among the cars.

Should I even start with the way people drive in the horrid downpour that hit us? I thought not, you all know, you all have seen.

I am also, rather perterbed at the state trooper buzzing up behind me and the car behind me, flashing his you did something wrong lights, then speeding by, turns off his lights until he gets up to the next group... oh, that is such an abusive of power and a stupid driver issue.....

I am tired, home safely, not thanks to any of the nuts on the rode today!

Your forgot my birthday, you are an ass

We've been married for 7 years, and together for 11. August 4th happens every year same time! You even knew it was coming up the week before, yet not a word on the day of. I don't want to hear your stupid excuses......I worked all week (so did I!!)......I was worried about losing my job (whatever!) Than, you realized you've screwed up and you still do nothing!!! No card, no bouquet of flowers......oh but you do offer me sex. I don't think so. I choose to not have sex on my birthday and probably never with you again. We've had this discussion about how birthdays and Valentine's Days and Christmas are important to me. You just don't get it. I am so sick of your immature....it's all about me.....attitude. You are so selfish and so juvenile and I wish I had seen this side of you before I had married you. I am so sick of being the only one trying to keep this marriage alive. I'm done trying. Don't expect me to even acknowledge your birthday this year.

Men . . .. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok so my in-laws have been married for 31 years. They have had their issues, yes, but they have stuck together and always made it work. My dh and I looked up to their relationship and thought, if they can make it through all they have been through, we can! we were so encouraged by them.

They came out for a visit in june and my FIL asks joshua, "so, would you hate me if I left your mother?" Now, what freakin' kind of question is that to ask your son! I mean, come on!

Yeah, so he was thinking about leaving her. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!!! We had to act as if nothing was said, because inside we were praying he was just having a "moment" and it would pass . . . we it didnt.

he left her last sat. His reasoning . . . (well, some of them) she is not an 18 year old cheerleader anymore ( she looks great by the way) she is not as "hip" as he thinks she needs to be. He is in the music business in Nashville. He is turning 50 this year, and doesnt think he can "keep up with the jones' " gggggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i mean, there is more to the story, yes, however, she is the sweetest, most supportiave, down home wife i know. she has stuck by him through all his little "ideas" and never batted an eyelash "whatever makes him happy"

now, she says, "i'm fine, dont worry about me, just pray for your dad" still putting him before herself!!!!

he makes me so damn mad. he seems to think that everything will still be the same when we move back to TN. well no it wont. he says, well, i can live @ the studio, she can live at the apartment, and we can all still get together for family things. well, it is not going to be that easy! . . .

ok there is so much more, but my hand hurts . . . maybe i can write more later!
Lizzy

WTF do you mean, "am I pregnant"?

I mean, really, you'd think that people would know in this day and age that it is definitly not PC to ask someone that question. I wore a shirt to work yesterday that I guess you could wear if you were a little bit PG. I got this email asking me if I was pregnant and congratulating me. And this from a woman!

I am battling some stomach troubles, so, yes, I'm feeling a bit bloated these days, but I honestly don't think I look pregnant. And to top it off, I saw her today in the elevator, and I asked her if I still looked pregnant with different clothes. . . and she said YES! Arrggh! And this was in front of my boss to boot.

I mean, I never, ever ask that question, not even if it is completely obvious.

Grr!

Itty-Bitty Paper Towel Pieces

So this really bugs me. Here at work the janitors fill the paper-towel dispenser so damned full that when you pull at one, all you get is little itty-bitty pieces of paper towel, which fall all over the ground. You have to do this at least three times before getting a decent-sized towel with which to dry your hands. Now, if you're a responsible person like me, you bend over and pick up the dropped pieces. However, I seem to be in the minority, because most people leave the itty-bitty pieces all over the ground. But, then again, maybe this would help to teach the janitors not to stuff the dumb thing. But, then again, I've worked here for 20 years and it's always been a problem, so I guess janitors fall in the old-dog category (to put it nicely).

Thanks for providing this forum, Kay! I feel better already.

Life Lessons at Work

I recently learned about a fantastic tool. Maybe you've heard of it: its called the alphabet.

In case you're like me, and its new to you, I'll explain: The alphabet is made up of 25 unique letters. Each letter is a different symbol and is each an important part of a writing system. And its not just the letters, but their placement that's important. They have to go in a very specific order in order for it to be right.

I'll teach it to you: A B C D E F I G J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

All I can say is that I'm glad that I learned this lesson now. Since O is just learning about the alphabet I'd hate for him to learn the wrong way like I so obviously did.

Someone, who we will refer to as laMoron, decided to re-do the labels in my filing cabinet. There are four sections, all of which are alphabetical. They were ALL like this. I'd like to say its because she's illiterate, but alas, she's just dumb.

Ah, I feel better.

My uterus...your appendix

They are not the same. Having your appendix removed is the not the same as having your uterus and cervix removed. There are no emotions tied up in an appendix, there is no feminimity tied up in your appendix....

My uterus and cervix are what helped bring my beautiful children into this world. They have been the bane of my exsistence since I started having my period. They have caused me massive amounts of pain, they have caused me all kinds of sickness, but they are mine and they are what makes me feel female.

Having them taken out of my body is not an easy experience for me. It is emotional, it is worrisome, and it is out of my control. My female parts are causing me more pain and sickness than they ever have before and it is time for them to move out.

However, you telling me that my operation is "nothing" and that I will be back on my feet in two to three days is assinine. Telling me that I will not need to take any pain pills because I am stronger than that, telling me that they only tell you to take it easy for 4-6 weeks is their way of protecting themselves from a lawsuit, TELLING me that only women who are lazy will utilize that recovery period, is fucked up. Looking at me down your nose and telling me that I should be thankful I won't have periods anymore, telling me I should be thankful that I will no longer have pain, telling me that I should be thankful I won't have to worry about cancer is your way of dismissing my feelings on what is about to happen to me.

Your appendix removal is not the same as having a hysterectomy. I want you to get that through your head. Your organ was a useless piece of flesh. Mine brings life into this world. There is a difference.

Open Season

Okay - so tell me what's on your mind..... anyone can comment!

WTF is wrong with Civil Engineers?

Single lane exit ramps off of the interstate? There are generally TWO (ok, 3 if you count going straight, but, WTF did you even get off the road for?) directions to choose from at the end of the ramp. Why the hell aren't there two LANES to accomodate all the cars?

At least at the exit where my office is, the people know the routine to stick to the left side, leaving enough room on the right shoulder to form the other lane. However, it seems there is always one f&cking numbskull who will sit in their Lincoln Towncar directly in the CENTER and muck things up.

Seriously - two directions. Two lanes. It really IS that simple.

Welcome

Hi - started this today as I was wondering WTF is wrong with people....

The answer is ALOT.

I will discuss more at a future date. Feel free to do the same.